and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
