I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
