our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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