Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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