Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
