i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
