This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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