If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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