I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
