some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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