I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
