My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
