carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
