Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
