i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
