I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
