I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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