I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
