they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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