I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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