i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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