Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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