Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
