i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
