Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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