don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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