I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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