Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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