You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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