You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize