Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
