May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
