It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
