i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
