i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
