this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
