Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
