Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
