We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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