Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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