Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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