apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
