Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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