and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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