so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
