for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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