lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
