....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
