im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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