Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
