guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
